Episode 205 - The Blended Future Project with Maris Lidaka
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Konnichiwassup Primos! I am back from April Mental Health Hiatus and ready to get back into this Militantly Mixed life with y'all. My guest this week is Maris Lidaka, filmmaker and creator consultant. Recently Maris founded the Blended Future Project, a content creation and media education company that works to bring the Mixed experience into the mainstream narrative.
You can learn more about Maris Lidaka, by going to...
https://blendedfutureproject.com/
Watch Breakaway short film here.
Catch his current film Gabriella at the Pasadena Film Festival here.
ManeHustle Media 00:40
This is a ManeHustle Media podcast Hello, and welcome to the show. My name is Jacque Oh and you're listening to Militantly Mixed. Yo, this Rashanni, from the Single Simulcast, when I'm not making you laugh, or making up parody songs. I'm kicking back, listening to Militantly Mixed. ManeHustle Media podcasts are recorded on the ancestral lands of the Chumash, Tonga, Hohokam, and Yucatec Maya people, and we wish to pay our respects to the people of those nations both past and present.
Sharmane Fury 01:025
Konnichiwassup cousins. Welcome to Militantly Mixed the podcast about race and identity from the Mixed race perspective. I am your Sis Auntie Sharmane Fury, aka the da Blasian Blerd, and this is episode 205. And I'm so excited to be back from Mental Health hiatus. This April Mental health aide is I gave myself room to take a break, I allowed myself to broke. And I'm glad that I did. Every time I have one of these hiatuses I end up filling it up with all this other busy work or other projects and things like that, because I feel like I have to be busy all the time. And while over the last few years, I've been working on that. And I've been really great about advising other people to take rest. I don't think I ever really let myself go enough. And the closest I come to it is when I'm in a bout of major depression and I'm laying on the couch. But that's not restful. During that time, you always need, you always need rest after a bout of depression. So I'm just I'm proud of myself. I'm saying it out loud. I'm proud of myself that I let myself take time to rest. I swam in the pool, I laid out in the sun, I took naps, I watch TV in bed a couple days, you know, like I took time to actually rest I gave myself room to be quiet and thoughtful. And evaluating some things. And I gave myself room to release some things. And while that is going to be a long process, the particular things that I'm working on in releasing the fact that I gave myself room to start that process and let go of some things was really important. I'm proud of myself for doing it. So I just want to say that out loud. I, Sharmane am proud that I gave myself time to rest. But I'm excited to be back and I have some wonderful guests lined up for you for this upcoming season of Militantly Mixed. And I am actually switching to the season thing in the previous five years of the show, it's just been a weekly show. And when I take a break, I take a break. And then when I come back, I come back. But I think going forward, it'll help me a little bit better in organizing in if I call the periods between the hiatuses seasons. So for this upcoming season, I have some wonderful guests, I can't wait to share. There are people that are working in creative spaces and Mixedness, people that are just being their Mixed ass selves all the time. And I hope and hearing their stories or learning about their products or services or art or music or books that you find some benefit, as well. So I'm looking forward to sharing with you what I have for this season of Militantly Mixed, and I still have to do the math to figure out what season to call this. But I'll work that out by the time this episode airs. Hopefully. (Whispers) Where to begin, there's so many things. I don't want this to be too long, but I know I always tend to have a pretty long intro. As y'all know, I was on hiatus during the closing of the Be Your Mixed Ass Self Anthology submissions that closed on April 15th. And I want to thank everybody who participated whether you submitted something, shared the post, or wrote emails of encouragement of which I did get about doing this. I had a few emails come through that talked about people being excited about the anthology, but also not being ready to write something for it. And that I like I'm surprised by the effect that those emails had on me I think I got about five of those are close to and the reasons I was given was you know, impostor syndrome is really heavy right now. Or I'm still trying to figure out where I fit in my own identity. But I'm excited to be able to read what other people may have gone through because that might be helpful to me. And like with that in mind, not ready to write something this time, but thank you for creating the opportunity. And that was so encouraging to me because a lot of the things that I create from Militantly Mixed are really born out of personal lack something I'm lacking. I found myself in a period of very little Mixedness. And I was like, how do I find other Mixed people to connect with, so I created a podcast, different events that I've done through the show or something like that different activities have all been because there has been something I've been missing that I've wanted to do or connect with people on. And so I've created it, the anthology was no different. I want it to have multiple platforms have Mixed nests that people can refer back to if they needed to, or if they wanted to, or if they just wanted to enjoy things that Mixed people created. And so the Be Your Mixed Ass Self anthology, this will be the first one, 2023. Something I hope to do every year going forward, and give all of us the opportunity to share our stories about our own perspectives, in one place that a lot of people can enjoy if they want. And I'm really, really excited. So thank you again, to everybody who submitted if he shared a post, if you told a friend or if you sent me an email, the shared posts actually really worked because I actually received messages from people who said they hadn't even heard of the show before, but they're gonna start listening. Listenership did increase during the month, it usually dips a certain amount. But I could see that was pretty steady during the time that I was on hiatus and not releasing new episodes. And some of the people who submitted had not listened to the show previously and started after. So it was just benefits all around. And I just want to say thank you to everybody who participated. Where we're sitting now is we are in the reading and review period. So TaRessa and I are both reading and reviewing the submissions. And we're both in our feels about what we've been reading so far. But that's all I'm gonna say, I know sometimes I talk too much, I'm not gonna say anything else, we're in our feelings. And so as we continue to work our way through that process, we are also setting up with a publisher, and we're gonna go the self publishing route, a print-on-demand route. With that in mind, there are some costs that are associated with setting that up. Once that is set up, it makes it a lot easier for the books to be accessible. So I am doing a little bit of a fundraiser on uh I have a Pay Pal button for it set up specifically to capture the funds for production. So you can go to the link in the show notes, or the link in the Linktree on Instagram or MilitantlyMixed.com and click on the Be Your Mixes Ass Self Anthology tab. And there will be a button there so that you can donate specifically to the Be Your Mixes Ass Self Anthology production costs if you would like to help us with that. As of right now, I think we have about $77 in there. Plus I have some funds pulled aside from submission fees. But the rest of it we are looking to fundraise to get this ball rolling so that hopefully we can release this during the summer. (Deep Breath) I'm so excited about this. I really am so excited about getting this book together. I really really ... yeah, I'm just happy. I'm, I'm happy that this is happening. I'll say that and then I'll shut up because I know I talked too much sometimes. Let's get into today's guest, let's just do it. We're back. It's the next season. Let's do it. My guest today is Maris Lidaka. He and I have been circling each other and Mixed spaces for years now. We are Facebook friends. We know a lot of the same people we have participated in a lot of the same events through Multiracial Americans of Southern California (M.A.S.C.), Loving Day, Midwest Mixed conference, I think even too so we've known each other without really getting to know each other for years. So this was actually the first time we get to sit down and talk one on one and it was really great. There's so much overlap between us. We're both Well, I would say I'm a former filmmaker, but he's a filmmaker. He's created some pieces about interracial relationships and/or Mixedness. He's working on a documentary right now called the Blended Future Project, which is about Mixedness and interracial relationships. He's got a film starring and written I believe, by a Mixed race woman called Gabriella that's in film festivals right now. And he's also a creator consultant helping BIPOC and Mixed people specifically to create their brands or their products. By utilizing the wealth of knowledge he's created over the last 20 years. Rather than having to piece it together yourself, you can actually use him as a consultant to do your brand creation that you'd like. So I'm going to put links in the show notes to the MarisLidaka.com website, the Blended Future Project site, the upcoming screenings of his film, Gabriella, at Philly Film Festival and Pasadena Film Festival, so you can get a chance to after you listen to the episode, and you want to find out more. I'm gonna put all that stuff in the show notes for you. But yeah, it was really great conversation. I'm actually disappointed that I didn't reach out to him earlier, because we've been so connected for so many years. But without further ado, please join me in welcoming our latest cousin, the Militantly Mixed family Maris Lidaka.
Sharmane Fury 10:53
And we're back from hiatus, with my very first guest, Maris Lidaka. From the Blended Project. Welcome Maris to Militantly Mixed.
Maris Lidaka 11:27
Thank you. Thank you for having me.
Sharmane Fury 11:28
Why don't you introduce yourself to everybody and let's get into it.
Maris Lidaka 11:30
My name is Maris Lidaka. I am a filmmaker and creator consultant. I am the founder of the Blended Future Project, which is out here to try and give more representation to Mixed people in the media. Well, let me I guess, let me first you know, kind of talk about my background. I'm Mixed Black and Latvian. My father's side came from Latvia, escaped the Russians during the Second World War, ironically, same kind of thing is happening in Ukraine. So I'm actually hearing my grandmother's words about how the Russians are terrible all over again, which she learned English, which is by talking about how terrible the Russians were. (laughs) And the story I got the letter. I was like Grandma! And then on my my mom's side, descended, and ancestors of slavery, I think, we originally came from Nigeria, landed in New Orleans, my aunt was doing a bunch of research before she passed away. But she found a bunch of stuff. We were like teachers and librarians and doctors and all kinds of stuff after reconstruction.
Sharmane Fury 12:34
That's awesome.
Maris Lidaka 12:35
My parents both grew up in Chicago. My mom was from the west side, my father grew up in the suburbs, and they met at a burglar alarm company of all places. They were like answering phones, because a friend of that mutual friend of theirs, like got them both jobs. That's how they met. And that's how, that's how I came to be.
Sharmane Fury 12:52
So it was your father. Second generation then?
Maris Lidaka 12:56
Yeah. He was born in Germany has a baby. Okay. But then because they fled from Latvia to Germany, and then they got resettled in Kentucky. And then they were like, This is Kentucky. Where else can we go?
Sharmane Fury 12:57
Yeah.
Maris Lidaka 13:08
And they went to Illinois. And that's kind of where it happens. So he actually didn't get naturalized until he was, like 18 y.o / 19 y.o. And he actually his, the friend who got them the job is from an island not too far away from where you live right now. And they both got became citizens at the same time. They both like swore the oath and everything on the same day.
Sharmane Fury 13:35
Oh, nice. That's kind of nice to have, like friend to go through something like that with still curious about whether or not I'm gonna make that leap wherever I end up, but, but that's cool. So you're, you grew up. So you grew up in Chicago, then?
Maris Lidaka 13:50
I grew up in? Well, I grew up in Oak Park, Illinois, which is like 30 minutes west of Chicago. But I went to school in Chicago, for like the first nine years. Then I ended up moving to Copenhagen because my parents got divorced. And my mom was like, fuck the U.S. I'm out of here. She somehow she ended up in Holland first. And then she ended up in Denmark. And then she called me and was like, you wanna come live over here? And I was like, I'm not doing nothing.
Sharmane Fury 14:21
Well, why not? Why not.
Maris Lidaka 14:23
But I stayed there till I was 18 and decided that I wanted to become a filmmaker. And unfortunately, in order to qualify for films go in Denmark, you have to make a movie. But the program ...
Sharmane Fury 14:35
First?!?
Maris Lidaka 14:36
First! You have to make a movie, then apply some colleges do that here, too. They want to like see your work.
Sharmane Fury 14:41
Yes, something. Yeah.
Maris Lidaka 14:42
But the program for you to make a movie had been canceled the year before I was eligible for it when I was in high school. So I was like, Well, I can either stay here and just hang out and try to figure out how to make that happen. Or I could go back to the U.S. So I went back to the U.S. enrolled in Columbia College and start on the long winding, sometimes fulfilling sometimes very frustrating career of working in the entertainment industry.
Sharmane Fury 15:09
Which is why I am now a stay-at-home podcaster in the film industry, because I also went to film school and my path ended me somehow in unscripted. And no, no, thank you. Yeah, yeah, thank you. That's cool. Do you speak Dutch? Or did you go to Danish? Or you speak Danish? Did you
Maris Lidaka 15:29
I went, I went to a Danish school for the first two years. Which, you know, good for learning the language real fast, which I still like no, a lot of it. Like, there's a lot of things. We all like watch things. And I'll understand the words. And sometimes I can do it with like Swedish and Norwegian, because it's kind of the same, but not really. But then it's kind of the Danish school system is kind of, it's broken up kind of weird. You go to nine years of basically grade school. And then you go to three years of high school, they call it gymnasium. So I actually I went to American high school, I was a freshman, I left to go to Denmark, because I didn't speak the language that put me back in the eighth grade. So I went to ninth grade again. And then it was like, this is enough Danish for me. I'm gonna go to international school where they speak English. So I went to an IB program where they spoke English. And that's where I finished out. My, my high school.
Sharmane Fury 16:27
I have like a number of friends who work in international schools. And it always, I've always been curious about like, the process if you still get any kind of cultural exposure to the place that you're at. And with you being a Mixed person with also like an parental immigrant story, and then you also become a foreigner somewhere like, you got a lot of stuff going on in your like, it's not just your Mix. It's also like, where you lived and everything like that. Do you feel like you picked up any of that culture?
Maris Lidaka 16:58
I did? Well, here's kind of the big culture shock for me was, you know, you know, growing up in the U.S. being Mixed, everybody asks, What are you? That's the question, they want to know, like, I have four to five racial categories that I know that you could possibly fit in. So just tell me which one you are. And then you have to kind of explain like, okay, like, That's not exactly how they weren't good. Yeah, more complicated than that. But when I went to Denmark, and people ask me, like, where I'm from I, my brain immediately went to, okay, what are you? I would say, you know, my mom was Black. My dad's white. he's from Latvia. And they will go, I don't know what that means.
Sharmane Fury 17:36
I'm experiencing that right now too.
Maris Lidaka 17:40
Like, where are you from? Like, what do you mean? Like, are you from Africa? Are you from the United States, I'm from the United States? And then everybody would get like, really excited. I was like, Wait, so you mean, and I'm like, 13, 12 going on 13. So my brain is like, so you mean, the thing that I grew up? Thinking was like, the baseline of my identity wasn't like, I'm actually an American some places, so they kind of like mess with me for a little bit. But then eventually, I became, I was like, oh, yeah, I'm an American. Like, that's my culture. Those are my cultural references. And then I kind of adopted some of the Danish thinking as well.
Sharmane Fury 18:19
Did that hurt? Like, so? I go my whole life being a Mixed person with, you know, two foreign grandmothers or whatever, very heavily influenced by both of their cultures, never really feeling like American. And even my like, Film School documentary was called American Foreigner, because I was trying to work process through, like, what is my Americanness? And the first time I left the country, I went to France, and everybody kept at, you know, assuming I was American, or they would say, or Canadian, and I'd be like, "No, I guess American." But I'm like standing next to my Japanese grandma. And I'm just like, also Japanese. And they're like, she's Japanese. Like, I like I remember having a conversation where I was with my, my Spanish uncle, my Japanese grandmother, and my Mixed white and Japanese aunt. And everybody's like, "Okay, you two, are Americans. He's Spanish, and she's Japanese." And it messed with me. So like, I just felt like it was almost painful to admit the American.
Maris Lidaka 19:22
Yeah. It it is. I think it is when you first get there, at least for me, it was like, I'm American, but like, America has done all this terrible shit, including to me, so I don't like it. Then there was this other thing of like, but if I say I'm American, I get treated like way better than everybody else here. Because Denmark is. Denmark is not a utopia. I know. We'd like to say that it's Utopia because it's you know, it's got a really good social welfare system. However, there is rampant xenophobia. To give you an example, there are Irishmen who get deported because they are not Danish enough. So in Denmark, it's all about you'll never be fully Danish, you just won't.
Sharmane Fury 19:22
Right.
Maris Lidaka 20:11
Even if you're born that you just won't. So it's just a matter of, we have certain tiers of cultures, some we like, some we don't, which one do you fall into? And if you say you're American, then it's like, well, that's interesting. I like that. Because, you know, all the movies and TV that I watch are from America. So I have like a reference. I'm a little curious if you guys like shoot each other all the time. And if you guys like pizza and hamburgers all day,
Sharmane Fury 20:37
Yeah.
Maris Lidaka 20:38
But I can I can jive with that. Like I can get down with the fact that that your American?
Sharmane Fury 20:45
Wow, so we "beat out" the Irish.
Maris Lidaka 20:49
Yes.
Sharmane Fury 20:50
In Denmark... okay.
Maris Lidaka 20:52
At least now, like, it was better back then when I left, I left in the year 1998. And then it's kind of like gotten worse, a little bit like the racism and xenophobia. I've talked to friends of mine like yeah, it's it's gotten like, way worse.
Sharmane Fury 21:08
Yeah, I remember my first exposure to how Black people were treated in Scandinavia was on some some documentary I saw when I was like in high school or something. And the guy was born and raised there. His mother and father were born and raised there. So they're multigenerational. And I forget what I think they were in Sweden actually. But you know, Scandinavia in general, I guess. Probably experiences very similar things. And, and him constantly having to, like, validate his his thing. I was like, oh, so we can't go anywhere basically, is the way I was feeling is like a Mixed-Black person. Like we can't go anywhere. And then finding out later on about the Christmas character. That they have.
Maris Lidaka 21:53
Oh, yeah. They did have the grace enough not to bring that out. When I was around Christmas present celebrations. They didn't. They like put that away. Oh, yeah.
Sharmane Fury 22:06
Excellent. I have a British grandmother. And the the (sarcasm) big, fun, racist thing that the Brits like to do is the Golliwogs. They're like a Raggedy Ann doll that I've talked about on the show too many times because I'm traumatized by these damn dolls. So you look like a Raggedy Ann doll with black with a big, overdrawn red mouth thing or whatever. And my grandma had them. My Nana had them around the house and stuff like that. She also really enjoyed collecting, like Jim Crow era memorabilia, and like her kitchen was decorated like that. And so, and that was her way of connecting to her creamy babies that she created, which was completely, you know, like, we can just say, yeah, so I get to be about like, 10,11,12. And I'm like, Nan, you know, this is racist. And none of us like this. And they're like, No, this is your culture. This is me celebrating cultures like "Yeah, but this is not like, No." And there's there's two things is the Golliwogs, and the Aunt Jemima style Cookie Jar was like a Black lady with the red headband and the red thing and stuff like that. And that fucking cookie jar, I swear that like she haunts me, every now and then she'll pop up my head. I'm just like, that was in my own family. And then going to England you also see that same like gollywog style character. They still sell them on the streets, they're on candy, you know, it's like all over the place. There's a version of that here in Mexico to I'm starting to see in little places, which is, I don't I don't know how Black Mexicans feel. So I'm like, I need to investigate the way they feel about it before I get all up in arms. But it definitely when I see it, I'm just like, oh, okay, it's right there. It's just painted on the side of the wall. Let's go. So yeah, that's interesting. It is kind of tough for us to reconcile, I think the being an American in America versus being an American when we travel as as Brown people and Mixed people. So here, I'm experiencing very similar things where, you know, everybody talks to me like I'm an American, and then I feel compelled to say, you know, "Yo soy Negra y Japonesa". And they're like, no, yeah, like and then one, one person just he scratched his nose and told me to give him the chismosa. And so like, it's a way of being like, "Oh, tell me the gossip about why why are you like" First? Why are you even telling me, but then also like, what's going on? And it was my Spanish class. And so we were using it as a way for me to learn more Spanish and stuff. So he was asking me questions, and I explained like, you know, my grandfather and my grandmother and maternal and paternal and stuff like that. And he was like, interesting. And then basically, it was like, but you'll say "Yo soy, Americana." (laughs)
Maris Lidaka 24:56
Like that that's it's kind of there like that. It's like, that's cool. Yeah, what's your word American.
Sharmane Fury 25:01
But you're an American, right? And so there's a different feeling of like being in America and me saying, I'm Black and Japanese and you know, British or whatever. And someone will say, like, Yeah, but like, pick one, make it easy. You know, whatever it is, I say, I know, I'm more ambiguous in my presentation. And so it's harder for people to just tell me to pick Black or pick Japanese or whatever. Usually, it's Dominican that everybody wants me to pick, which I'm not. So there's that. That's what I'm used to. That's the discomfort I'm used to the discomfort I'm not used to yet here is cute. But you're an American, you know, like, Thanks for the extra information I don't need and will never use to interact with you in any way, shape, or form. You're an American. So I got to deal with the discomfort of that, too. What's your if you remember, what was your coming back to the States experience as a person that I like to say, became American when you left the country?
Maris Lidaka 25:55
Yeah, I, I think of myself that way, too. I didn't become an American until I left the country. And to give a little bit of backstory. I got introduced to racism when I was in kindergarten, because I had a teacher who would, she would just make me stay after class and sit on the floor for like, no reason. And I never understood why. And then I guess she would tell my mom that she thought that I had some kind of like learning disability and I had to go to like the special ed education class. And if anybody is from that area, like the 80s, special education meant that your educational opportunities were essentially dead, you get tagged with disability, and that will go on your record and any type of colleges that you want to get into, you're screwed. So then, you know, my mom had grown grown up on the west side, she kind of knew what racism was. But she figured I moved to the suburbs. I've white husband, like they're gonna treat me a little bit better. And then she realized, like, oh, it's the same. So it's like, okay, son, who's five. I'm going to teach you what racism is here. There are some people who aren't going to like you because of the color of your skin. And they're going to treat you this way. And I think she told me that I like looked at my dad. And I was like, why would you do that? He was like, I didn't do anything.
Sharmane Fury 27:16
You're the spokesman, though. You're the one I know.
Maris Lidaka 27:20
Like, no, he's like, not all of them know, your dad's fine. But some people will. So she had she started like getting really involved in you know, she found like a Mixed group that met up in Oak Park, Illinois, that was like, I don't know, three other families. One of which their son shot my very first short film when I went back to college. But kind of came this thing where I had to, like find images, just like and actually the only one that I could really find when I was a kid was He-Man of all characters. He was like, he's got blond hair. He's got tan skin. He's Mixed. I know it.
Sharmane Fury 27:54
I see. I love this nugget search that we go on as and I talked about this too, like in my pop culture show as well of just like, you know, representation, we weren't gonna get the ideal... Like there wasn't going to be a Black American Latvian character, you know, you weren't gonna get that I wasn't going to get a black Japanese British American character, you know. So for me, it was Jubilee and Storm Jubilee being a Chinese American transracial adoptee to white people. And Storm just been dope. I don't know. Yeah. And so like, I was your
Maris Lidaka 28:30
She's got white hair.
Sharmane Fury 28:30
Yeah she's got white hair, she's got an accent. She's brown skinned, you know, there was something going on. And so I was like, if I could just combine these two, then I could be that, you know, she's Chinese. She's Chinese, not Japanese Jubilee. But like, I get it. Her parents aren't the same color as her. My parents aren't the same color as me. It works. You know, these are the ways that I found the nuggets to find my representation. And you know, I was also a military kid. So I knew a lot of Mixed people. Plus my whole family was Mixed. Both sides of my family were Mixed, multigenerational. So both parents are biracial. And so I had a very Mixed life. I just didn't understand why my TV didn't match. Yeah, all the people that I knew, you know,
Maris Lidaka 29:12
It's a problem people are still facing is like, I mean, it's better sort of now, but still, it's like, how come what I see in my world does not match what I see on television.
Sharmane Fury 29:28
Because there's never a friend group in my experience that was all white and I was the Brown. Or, you know, there was one Brown and one Black or something like that. It was never I've never seen that dynamic in my life. But I've seen it on TV a whole bunch. you know.
Maris Lidaka 29:46
Yeah, and fast forward. So yeah, I became, I went from a kid to being an other that I went, I moved abroad and became an American. And then I had to move back And then I kind of had to reconcile with like, Okay, I'm kind of both like, I'm an American, but I'm also an other. So how do you, like, marry those? And that's kind of the struggle that's been, you know, through the work that I've tried to try to create, because on the surface, most people, especially in the Midwest, there's really like three options. There's like white, Black, Mexican. Yeah, that's it. So it's like, well, you're not Mexican. So you must be Black. So you should be making Black films, right. And by Black films, I mean, films about like poverty, struggle, and trauma, gangs, drugs, all that stuff. That was like, you know, this is the era of like, when Spike Lee started to come up. And we had John Singleton. So those and those are the kind of movies that they were actually financing. So it was like, do that, like, I don't know how to do that.
Sharmane Fury 30:54
I can't relate to that.
Maris Lidaka 30:56
I've never been shot at, yeah, never, like, dealt drugs, or like had to, I don't know what this is.
Sharmane Fury 31:04
And I assume even the Black people that were in your life, also weren't experiencing those things. So you didn't have them as a reference point?
Maris Lidaka 31:12
Well, my mom's side of the family is large, like, very large. So some of them did, but a lot of them. I mean, it's like any family, you have those that you know, fall through the cracks and get caught up in the system. But then you have those that don't they just get jobs and have families like one of my uncle's. He was he was in the military for years. My mom visited him in Germany and all kinds of other places. Another uncle, like he bought a bunch of different houses in Oklahoma. And another one, I think, I think he worked on a golf range for a long time. But, you know, again, these are like, references. Like, even if I was a reference to their family upbringing, it's not going to be what Hollywood expects, like they didn't shot at maybe they had, like, chased by a bully once, but but that's it. So it was hard for me to kind of figure out, Okay, where is this spot that I fit in? How do I make a story that's like, true to me, but also in a way that will gain traction and, you know, get my career on, on the right path, because that's kind of the thing that you're taught is you have to make the right thing that somebody will notice you. And then, you know, you'll essentially win the lottery, they'll be like, I've got a bunch of money.
Sharmane Fury 32:30
And time our, like independent guys were Quinton and Kevin Smith. And like, these were the people that made some weird thing that everybody attached to and then that became a genre of some sort of that you could work within. But there wasn't like a Mixed equivalent to that. Which is also like my motivation to I wanted to be like, the Mixed Francis Ford Coppola was my big thing. Like, tell him tell a family culture story through, you know, film, but instead of Italian Mafia, it was going to be, you know, black, Japanese and British people basically.
Maris Lidaka 33:11
But, ya know, back then it was like, Well, if you're not basically if you're not a white guy, like, here's the slots that we have for you. And if you don't fit any of those slots, then good luck.
Sharmane Fury 33:22
Yeah, essentially, that's, that's even why I didn't get nearly the amount of production time that I should have had, having had a film degree, like I graduated film degree, I touched a camera one time in my program, because they kept saying, oh, there's not enough cameras to go around. And I'm like, okay, but like, Chad has gotten the camera five times. And he's got four films and in festivals right now. I have one, you know, like, give me give me the time, Chad. Chad don't need it. So that's my go-to name my film blankl name. So yeah, it was a it was a tough time delay. You were so inspired at that. I think we're kind of contemporary in that age. Like we were so inspired for this opportunity. Like you could be an independent filmmaker, you could tell stories that weren't mainstream stories. But even then, even there, the gatekeeping was strong. And like you said, if you're not going to tell a "Black story," that is hood, which I could have told because I'm Black hood, that's how I grew up. But does a Black hood story makes sense coming out of this body out of this face, you know? Yeah. Yeah, that was tough. I think that was kind of what sent me down the trajectory that ended up just taking any job I can get, which kept me pigeon holed in, in unscripted and like, yeah, I don't want to do this anymore.
Maris Lidaka 34:36
I kind of did the same thing. I mean, luckily, I went to Columbia College in Chicago. And they did let us touch lots of cameras. Like all the classes I took, were always kind of like hands on learning things. When it came to getting out of school, they were not helpful at all. It was like how do I get started? And they're like, here's the list of production companies go call and I was like, that's not what I paid all this money to go to school for.
Sharmane Fury 35:01
Right because they didn't used to tell you they had all this like assistance to try to get you in. Yeah, that's how they sold us on paying that film school bill. Yeah, for sure. Never got a job.
Maris Lidaka 35:11
Then you kind of get you like you, you just like take a bunch of jobs. Especially, I stayed in Chicago. So it was in the market. This was before like Chicago Fire and all the different Chicago shows who was like, Okay, there's like 20 jobs. And there's like 100 people who want them. So we need somebody
Sharmane Fury 35:31
Will that Chad's all step forward! (laughs)
Maris Lidaka 35:34
A lot of that. But there was like, oh, okay, all the Chad's are booked. We've got one spot is like a sound mixer. Do you know how to do sound? And you just say yes. And then you call your buddy who knows how to do sound and say (whispers) "How do I do sound?"
Sharmane Fury 35:52
That yeah, that's a hardcore pretty much that I ended up going from, at this time I was living not in LA anymore, but Northern California. And so and then I bounced to Austin, Texas, and I ended up working at a film festival, because, you know, I was like, I couldn't get any of the film jobs for the same kind of reasons, small market. And if you weren't like you had two camps, you were either a Rodriguez camp, or you were the film festival that I was at's camp, and they didn't like each other. So if you worked on one, you were making a decision. And you didn't know you were making that decision. Because you just moved to Austin, you took the first film job that came up. So yeah, that ended up being another different level of disconnect of of, and, yeah, yeah, it was, it was not an easy time to try to enter. I think now that people can make things on their own and with limited equipment, and it's so come out really amazing. I think it's a better time for people like us to come out and start sharing our stories, which is what we wanted, I'm glad. But also it would have been nice to be able to have that Mixed Francis Ford Coppola storyline.
Maris Lidaka 37:00
Would have been nice when we were, you know, yeah. Fresh on the market to be right. Oh, there's, there's, there's a room, there's room for us.
Sharmane Fury 37:07
Right? So that kind of brings me into into curiosity of of what maybe because of that, what what bridge your gap from? I'm sitting, you're actively trying to do this through other people's sources, you know, other people's resources, things like that, versus creating what you the kind of work that you do now and what led you to the Blended Future Project.
Maris Lidaka 37:27
So to the last I left Chicago to go to Los Angeles after the big crash in 2008. I was like, I lost my job. I had gotten like a full time job for two years. If anybody has Sprint phones, like back in 2007, and you saw all the like music news on it, I shot all that. But then they lost a client, loss of a job. I was like, Screw it. I'm not going through another winter, shoveling up my car struggling to like find camera assistant to work. I'm moving out to Los Angeles. Yeah. And then when I got there, I realized that like, there's when you go from like a smaller market to a bigger market, there is like a level of competence and expectation that you are suddenly faced with. It's like, okay, good enough, is no longer like good anymore. Right? And also, I have to figure out what it is that I want to do. Because once you pick a lane, that's it!
Sharmane Fury 38:18
In LA that is you get stuck in the lane! Yeah.
Maris Lidaka 38:22
Yeah. So I was like, after a lot of years of like, trying to muddle around, I was like, okay, the only job I could get was cleaning houses. Like there was no work. I didn't hadn't picked the lane yet. So I was like trying to clean houses for money. In one day, I like inhaled too many cleaning chemicals.
Sharmane Fury 38:40
Oh my gosh.
Maris Lidaka 38:40
And I had to like sit on the bed and and get my the wind back. And I was thinking like, I've never really done the thing that I wanted to do. So why don't I just try. So I just tried, I was like, I'm gonna go out, I'm gonna try to make a movie. I don't have a lot of money, but let's just give it a shot. So I did that I made a film called Sprout, which was about a Guatemalan girl trying to grow food to feed her family. And it got into a good amount of festivals. And it just started networking from there, trying to make other shorts, just trying to get that portfolio going. But around like 2016 when we know what happened during the (beep *45) election, I was like, alright, and it was it was almost I kept seeing this like Toni Morrison quote that said, "this is the time when artists go to work." So I kind of had like a sit down with myself. And I was I was like, okay, you've made all this work to try and get discovered. It hasn't worked. So why don't you do something for somebody else? And I had a friend of mine who was who's I've known from Chicago for like 20 years and he was like, Look, you are Mixed. There is no representation for you. So why don't you just go be the representation. Go help somebody like you know what to do all this stuff. Just go do it. I was like, Alright, fine, I'll give it a shot. So we started kind of figuring out, like, what the strategy was. And I figured, okay, you know, maybe I could make a documentary. And then I started making that documentary. And I, and I realized, like, okay, by the time I finish this, everything will have changed. Like, there's no way for me to make a documentary and have it like, stay current, like some things will, but some things won't. And it'll take forever. And the thing that I want to do something now, right, so All right, let me just write, like I grew up, when I was a kid, I wanted to be an author, let me just go back to that. It's really easy. I had to make portfolio websites for myself, anyway, I'll just design a website, start writing things, putting it up there, sharing it all around. And that's how I started just connecting with other Mixed people and realizing that, oh, there's like, a supportive community out there that didn't exist that I didn't know exist, right? There's like an actual not only audience from my work, but like, the people that I can connect with and learn what's happening that we can have, like a coexisting relationship. So it's like, Alright, how can I expand that further and further. And that's why I started the Blender Future Project, because I was like, well, there is no representation coming. So how can I not only make it, but also teach other people how to do the same thing without having to go through 20 years of hardship. And that's really how you make that impact that you wanted to have in the first place.
Sharmane Fury 41:38
Right. Because that period of time, and I think 2016 to 2018. It was it was still a desert out there of Mixedness. You couldn't go on social media and find a whole bunch of Mixed groups or a whole bunch of Mixed platforms and anything like that, you might find that the occasional thing for me in that time I was finding, if I was finding groups, they were very pro-light skinned and Mixed baby groups.
Maris Lidaka 42:03
I've seen those!
Sharmane Fury 42:04
You seen those! And I was like, yikes. If this is my community out here, I can't like I can't I can't be down with this kind of colorism. And I don't I like it's already hard enough to get the Mixed baby thing from like random white women who would be like, "Oh, Mixed babies make the prettiest babies." And then literally see Mixed people say it was like, oh, yikes, I don't I need to find different people. So the same type of thing, I think was driving me towards Militantly Mixed, of talking about, like, our existence. I think was probably one of the most radical things that I could have done at the time, was just talking about us existing. And, you know, still took a couple years to kind of get something going and shape what did this ended up being but I'm so glad that so many of us were in that space, and I you know, maybe it was triggered by *45 I don't know. But that time period seemed to mobilize a lot of us I think, or maybe just the climate in general, maybe during that time to get us going. So that's, that's amazing. What I and I'm sorry, I don't remember the name of it. But during that loving day thing I remember you had shared a short film or something that you were working on around the time and I think it was an interracial couple...
Maris Lidaka 43:24
Yeah, it was short film called breakaway I made it right Breakaway started. Right before like actually codified the Blended Future Project. I made a short film called Breakaway was about an interracial couple on the first date. And you know, they kind of like got into a bunch of stuff. It was all about, you know, perception and how the way that we're brought up kind of changes the way that we see a similar situation. And then from that when I was doing like we were had to raise money. So I was like doing interviews with the cast and the crew and my associate producer and her now husband, interracial couple. She's like a redhead from New Jersey. He's undocumented from Mexico. So I just, you know, sat down, and we talked about the movie. And I was like, Well, you know, it's about interracial couples that interview like have any qualms or like, reservations about it. And the redhead was like, her name is Shannon, Shannon was like no, like I've dated all kinds of people. It's never really a problem for me and my family doesn't doesn't care. We're not this kind of people. And then I asked, Luis is his name. He was like, "Yeah, I had a big problem." Like, I didn't know if I could date a white woman because I didn't know should be able to talk to my mother who only speaks Spanish. And I was like, that's interesting. Let's talk more about that. And that's where the idea for the documentary came from. The trailer piece that's on your website talks about that part of their relationship to a little bit. Yep, yep. And I'm, as I'm making, I've figured, you know, there's got to be more people who are like this. Let me just go like talk to them. Put a camera in front of their face and see what happens. And then, like I said, as I'm going through it, I'm like, this is gonna take a long time for me to make. So let me just simplify and kind of take it from there. But the short itself actually did better than I thought it was gonna do, because I finished in February of 2020. And if we all remember,
Sharmane Fury 45:26
Right in the nick of time.
Maris Lidaka 45:29
My timing was impeccable. Well, I kind of had to like sit on it for a couple of years. And then when things started opening up, start submitting it, and it got into some festivals, and then it ended up being considered for an Oscar. We didn't get to the nomination stage, but we got to the consideration stage, which for me was icing on the cake,
Sharmane Fury 45:52
Right, yeah. This was the dream, like this was what I was picturing, too, when I was entering, deciding to go to film school versus going down a communications path, or whatever it was that my family wanted me to do computer sciences or something. And it's still a part of like, the future mission is something that I dream of wanting to do eventually. And then I've discovered the podcasting thing. And I just shifted with the idea of creating an archive of our existence in some way through conversation and stuff. But the the documentary aspect, I think, is important because it's important for people to see our faces, see how different we all look and how we are influenced the like, see how we exist within the ways that we identify versus the way we look. And like how our relationships are complicated. I mean, I was a person, I always thought I would end up with a Black person, because that's how I grew up, I grew up around Black folks. And I ended up with a half Middle Eastern half white guy that grew up in with the white side of his family, and he happened to hang out with a lot of Black kids. Still to this day, 23 years later, I'm like, I have no idea how this happened. I don't know how this happened. And we have that challenge sometimes because we're we're still an interracial couple like we there's things that happen that there's times when I'm like, Oh, do I still stick this out? Because we have these fundamental things that are different. So I think something like that is very important. I'm excited about from the trailer that I that I had seen. I'm excited about seeing how that develops over how long you take it. And it seems, I mean, it seems like it could be endless. Honestly.
Maris Lidaka 47:26
Theres ah it led to another short that actually is in making festivals right now a friend of mine, the one who I made Sprout with like that very first short film. She's Mixed with Guatemalan and indigenous and December of 2021, she got a grant through Netflix to make a short. So we made that last year. We screened it at the LA Latino Film Festival in June, and then we recut it now it's kind of making it's in Atlanta right now. And that one we have a lot of high hopes for and we're just kind of it just kind of continuing to grow. I'm kind of getting. Now getting back to those documentaries. Instead of making a huge giant one that talks about every single Mixed issue I'm going to try and I'm going to focus on just smaller stories, just to kind of make that archive but do it in a documentary style. So there's like a visual to go along with it.
Sharmane Fury 48:26
I love that. Do you think you're you're more passionate on the documentary side now than the narrative side?
Maris Lidaka 48:32
I kind of go in between both worlds. I started off just wanting to do narrative, mostly because I didn't think I had what it took to like, do documentary because like, you gotta like interview a bunch of strangers and good with that. Until you know your struggle until you get to that point where it's like, I need a job and somebody's like, you make a documentary and like, sure, sure, okay, here's a camera, go talk to that guy.
Sharmane Fury 48:56
I can also ride a horse, I can do martial arts, what else do you need?
Maris Lidaka 49:03
How much you pay him and now kind of like working in that world. And especially I've I did I've done a lot of editing, like that's kind of was my bread and butter for a while. I've edited a bunch of different YouTube channels like Tia Mowry YouTube channel, I edited like, almost all of it, including, like, the Multiracial episode. Jeanne Mai is another one. So I found that I like I like making narrative better. I like editing documentary. Better.
Sharmane Fury 49:36
That makes sense.
Maris Lidaka 49:37
When your editing documentary, there's a little bit there's more creativity on you as the editor because it's kind of like you have to just find the story a lot. They just give you a bunch of footage and say there's a story here somewhere. Your job go find it.
Sharmane Fury 49:51
Yeah, cuz you can start out thinking you're gonna tell one story with the doc and then someone says something that sends you down a path and and that's the...Yeah, I think, and maybe it's our age to like in the beginning, same thing I was I wanted to narrative I wanted, I wanted to figure out who was going to be the Mixed, the popular Mixed actor that always got cast. And, you know, like, I wanted to be a part of that whole thing. And now, having done Militantly Mixed for almost five years, I just want to hear people talk, I just want people to talk about what their experiences is, because when I started the show, I thought Mixedness looked a very specific way, you know, especially if we were Black Mixed in some way, shape, or form, you know, like about it looked a certain way, I thought we all you know, I was a member of the monolith until I realized the monolith didn't exist. And, and as I got to talk into more Mixed folks and realizing how different it can be whether you had a Black mother or Black father, whether you had a foreign parent or grandparent like I did, whether you're multigenerational, like all kinds of things were at play. And for the most part, I was in a unique position in that I grew up around Mixed people and almost everybody I talked to had never known another Mixed person unless they had a sibling. And, and I just I felt like it was so I feel like it's so important for us to continue to share those stories, so that people just know, like, we're, we're a huge population. And I started to discover I had more overlap. In a lot of ways I had more overlap with fellow Mixed people than I necessarily had with people from my same groups. You know, I don't relate very well to Japanese people, despite having a Japanese home culture, I do relate better to Black folks. But I relate better to Black folks who grew up in hood, because that's the kind of Black folks I grew up around, you know, different things like that. It's fine. But when I find it Mixed person who says, I just was someone didn't touch my hair today, or I wish someone didn't ask where I'm from today, or I wish someone just believed me when I said, I'm Black and Japanese and not Dominican today, you know, like these types of things that we end up saying, it's been such a relief, to have that community connection. For for commiseration purposes, yes. But sometimes you have those happy Mixed moments. And being able to capture that with somebody, too, is like I didn't expect to feel the way that I felt doing the kind of work.
Maris Lidaka 52:19
It was kind of one of those things where you have you kind of outline for yourself, like, my life needs to look like this. And then you try and like force it in there. And then you just gotta get to a point where like, well, I can't make it happen this way. Let me just try something else and see what happens. And then it ends up being like that rewarding thing that may or may not get you back to the place that you want it to be originally.
Sharmane Fury 52:42
Yeah. I got to a point like after I hit like 100 interviews, I started thinking, Oh, is it possible that I might be the person who's spoken to more Mixed people than anybody. And then that became a weird, like, focus of like, let me just collect all the Mixed people I could possibly collect. And I have no idea like compared to other documentarians, and people that are doing work, you know, maybe, maybe not, but in my head, that's the thing. I'm the person that gets to talk to Mixed people. And so that that's the thing that I get to do. And I pull something from everybody. I've created friendships out of this, and even some business partnerships and certain aspects and things like that, too. And I just felt like it. I didn't know. I didn't know what the what the path was doing. Like I didn't know there's like all these little hiccups and things like not working out exactly like you said, the way you pictured your life, bringing you this like crazy, it's sometimes super painful. But sometimes it's so joyful and exciting. And I wouldn't I definitely wouldn't change having fallen in to this direction at all. Because there's a lot of reward there with the so the Blended Future Project is kind of a bunch of things. So you have your filmmaking and aspect of it, but you also assist other I want to say Mixed folks. But it also seems like other BIPOC folks...
Maris Lidaka 54:03
I mean, essentially, what I figured out is that, you know, obviously through it, I can create my perspective through it through a bunch of different ways. Films, documentaries, written things, I could do that. But if you really want to have an impact, the way that you do is raise people up. So I'm trying to create more vigorous representation, where I'm working with creators to make their stuff, figure out how to make their stuff, give them guidance, so that way, we can kind of be that, that beacon of change that we want to be because one person could tell a story, and it can make a little bit of an impact. Or you get a bunch of different people telling all their stories in a way that really like resonates and connects. And that's how you make an even greater impact. And that's essentially what it is.
Sharmane Fury 54:51
I love that there's so many of us out here doing things that that are could technically benefit a whole bunch of people but that with this specific big lens have us in mind, the for us, by us, about us like, that's my whole, that's my whole thing that I get excited about. So I'm happy that you've found the path to do that to support the community and be such a huge presence across so many like, I know that I see your name pop up and things that I'm looking at or doing. And then also, we've been connected on a couple of different, like, we've been present in a couple different events and stuff like that. So I just get, I don't know, I just get so excited when I see that, that like, I wasn't turn it back to me, I wasn't weird. You know, like, I didn't do this weird thing. We're just like, let's just focus on Mixed folks, you know, like that, like that. There's other ones like us out there, of doing this stuff. So I say that to say that I'm grateful for the work that you do for us as a community. And for even finding the way that it helped you probably to in the way that you identify and the way that you participate in in all the cultures that you're connected to, in some way, shape, or form. Before we get out of here, though, I like to ask all of my guests, what do you love most about being Mixed?
Maris Lidaka 56:03
I love the fact that I have grown up having two completely different perspectives on life. T wo different cultures, two different ways of relating to the world. And I get to kind of like, pick and choose which one works for me. And I get to, I think it really helped me like see people more as people. Like, I obviously it's kind of like, you can hold two thoughts in your head at the same time. Like, I know, when I approach somebody who's white, like, societal standards, they are a white person. Depending on their upbringing, they're gonna have certain things, but I'm also looking out for those individual like, quirks and personality things that separate them as an individual. So I see you, Karen. Yeah. But I also see you, Karen.
Sharmane Fury 56:55
Yeah, Okay, gotcha. Do you happen? I guess not not knowing how Americanized your father may have been? Do you have a favorite hybrid food that kind of blends multiple of the cultural influences that you've had into one dish, or a fantasy version of that if you don't have one.
Maris Lidaka 57:16
My grandmother used to make Well, my dad pretty much is born and raised in the US like he was born in Germany, but he was baby so like from the time he was conscious. He's an American only thing different his passport. But my grandmother's side, she would make these like breaded dough things like ham inside. And I wish in my in my hybrid version of that is if they would fry it. While we're on it, see seasoning, dip it in some oil, fry that up. And then he did. I don't know what the name for it is. Somebody who's laughing now they could probably tell me what I would do.
Sharmane Fury 57:56
That's kind of like this. It's been an accidental accidental thing, because I kind of accidentally asked it of a person once because they were talking about food. And I was like, wait, what hybrid foods, I started to kind of ask people what their favorite hybrid foods. And I think there's a future cookbook in this where people like Mixed folks submit their hybrid culture foods.
Maris Lidaka 58:18
Militantly Mixed cookbook.
Sharmane Fury 58:20
Yeah, I mean, I can't cook. But I do like to eat and I want to eat my way around the world. So I think there's something there. There's definitely something there. Japan had some of the best food that I've ever had. See, so I haven't been to Japan yet. But I did grow up with a Japanese grandmother who wanted to be a chef. And so I got
Maris Lidaka 58:37
So you probably got a ....
Sharmane Fury 58:38
I got some good as food growing up. And it's funny, too, because the snobbery that that creates when you go to a restaurant, I was just like, "Yeah, that's fine. It's not my grandma's. But..."
Maris Lidaka 58:50
It was the same way. When I came, I went, I went to Tokyo twice, once intentionally once completely by accident, because I got a job two months afterwards. And then you come back like, well, the sushi is good. It's fine. It's not, it's fine. Like, yeah.
Sharmane Fury 59:06
It's too American. For me. Well, one of the ways that I've kind of blown people's minds a little bit, and maybe not as much in LA, but, or San Francisco. But in a lot of other places that most Japanese restaurants in the United States were run by Koreans. Because American didn't have Americans didn't yet have a palate for Korean food. And so that's how these like weird rolls and all this other kind of stuff started develop is that people were finding a way to make Japanese food palatable for Americans. And, and so like, it's always been hard to eat a Japanese restaurants because the sauces aren't always right compared to what we had at home, or the fact that there are sauces on some things that shouldn't have sauces or whatever. Or people using chopsticks to pick up sushi and stuff like that, like different things that just in my head, they're just the home things and so when I see it, I'm just like, Oh my God, these culture vultures and stuff. I'm completely semi culture vulture because I only have a home Japanese culture like my Japanese culture doesn't relate to other Japanese that I've met and things like that. So that's funny. Why don't you tell everybody how to find you how to find the Blended Future Project. And if you could also mention the at the film festival dates as well how people can see that.
Maris Lidaka 1:00:20
So you could follow me on my personal socials at Maris Lidaka. M A R I S L I D A K A or also at Blended Future Project for my company page, I post a lot of creator instructional advice and also how to be a Mixed creator. So you get a lot of information from that. If you want to know more about me and working with me, you can go to blendedfutureproject.com That's our website. There's a place where you can just book a meeting to chat with me for about an hour we can figure out what are you doing and how it is that I can help. And my latest film that I produced Gabriela is at the Philadelphia Film Festival at the beginning of May. And also at the Pasadena Film Festival on May the eighth at four o'clock I think is our time.
Sharmane Fury 1:01:07
That's an in-person.
Maris Lidaka 1:01:09
Yeah.
Sharmane Fury 1:01:10
One okay. They're both
Maris Lidaka 1:01:11
should also be available virtually as well.
Sharmane Fury 1:01:15
Okay, cool. I love that film festivals are starting to do that too. Because people need to access they can't go somewhere. Thank you again for joining me and being my first guest back since I got to Mexico and came back from hiatus. I am glad that while we have circled each other for many years we're finally connected directly and in any way shape or form that I can support sending folks towards the Blended Future or whatever please always feel free to reach out to me because I I want to support all the cousins.
Maris Lidaka 1:01:45
I appreciate it. You were actually when I was doing my initial like research intellect omics community you were like the first podcast that came up. So listen to like a bunch of episodes. It was like Yes. There is a way
Sharmane Fury 1:02:04
There's a way.
Maris Lidaka 1:02:04
Let's make this happen.
Sharmane Fury 1:02:04
Militantly Mixed is a main hustle media podcast produced and hosted by me Sharmane Fury. Music is by David Bogan, the one. You can follow us on social media on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook @MilitantlyMixed if you'd like to become a sponsor of Militantly Mixed please go to patreon.com/MilitantlyMixed for monthly sponsorship, or paypal.me/MilitantlyMixed for a one time only donation. And if you like what you hear on Militantly Mixed, please subscribe rate and review on iTunes or wherever you listen to podcasts. And don't forget to be your Mixed ass self.
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